Moving Through the New Year Blues
I always feel a little down when we start to take down the Christmas tree and pack away the decorations. It feels like the end of an era each time, even if it has only been a month. Apparently, post-holiday blues are quite common, and I think, especially this year, this is due to more than just packing away the lights and tinsel.
The end of the holiday season can mean saying goodbye to friends and loved ones who may live quite far away from our everyday world. Sometimes, it is also the disappointment of not having been with all of our loved ones, or the holiday times all together not going quite like those Hollywood movies and TV shows had promised. And then there is the jump start to the New Year that often feels like the jolt of jumping into a cold pool after relaxing in a hot tub all afternoon.There is something disjointed about rushing back in - full speed - after the slow motion way that time seems to move between Christmas and New Years.
Oh, and then there is Omicron, which makes 2022 feel like we are stuck in an awful remake of Groundhog Day. We came out of this and were seeing the light, only to be back in the tunnel? Why does that sound so familiar? It is difficult to know how worried or not worried to be at times.
I have definitely found this advice from mental health experts helpful: turn off the news feeds. (Yes there is a way to delete the news feed widget.) Then go to your trusted sources and do your own research when you need to. You do not have to let the news come to you while you are trying to work or be with your kids, or wind down in your room at the end of the night. Tracking what we click on in our most vulnerable moments, these news feeds then send a whole barrage of articles that we may find difficult to resist. In the end, I have found, many of them are poorly written and offer more click bait than scientific research. This could be a New Year's resolution for our mental health worth thinking about.
But New Year's resolutions lead us to another reason why we may feel a bit down this January. After the two years we have all been through, most of us are feeling anything but resolute. Of course, scrolling Instagram in January, you might not know it. I try to remember that while said person may be doing really well at that one thing (that I happen to be struggling with) they are certainly struggling with, or maybe even failing greatly at, something else. This is not meant as a judgement, but rather is the reality with each of us. We all have our strengths, and we are all struggling with keeping this in mind when feelings of inadequacy arise, and reminding yourself of your own strengths in that moment can be helpful. That being said, deleting Instagram and Facebook from my phone has been a very welcome start to the New Year. I'm endeavoring to do a little bit less in those down time moments. Maybe I’ll just sit and actually do nothing, or have a cup of tea, or read that novel I checked out from the library recently. Maybe just look around and notice who is around me, appreciating my children for the stage that they are in at this very particular and fleeting moment of time. The older my children get (12, 9 and 6 now) the more convinced I am that there is no way to truly understand how fleeting all those moments are until they are gone.
So, without talking about resolutions, I think I have found some intentions. They have to do with those ancient spiritual practices of turning inward: being a bit more instead of doing a bit more; single-tasking instead of multi-tasking. Our phones make us feel like we could (should) always be doing something else, checking on someone else, connecting to something else instead of the present moment. A few weeks back I watched as a young couple waited for a table without noticing or talking to each other at all. Glued to their individual devices, they were on a date while dating so many other people at the same time.
I hope in the messiness of the start to this new year and (perhaps some canceled plans), you find some ways to stop and slow down, take stock of who you are as a parent and what you are doing well. I hope you can develop some strong counter narratives and mantras to get you through the year ahead. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
I am good enough.
We are all struggling with something.
I have many strengths as a parent.
All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Anxiety takes us from the present moment, and gratitude brings us back into it.
In the end, this moment right here known as the present, is all we really have.