This may be the first year where the adults are more worried than the
children about going back to school. A few months ago, many of us felt
very different, and we were looking forward to the start of a school
year after a long pause, or perhaps a year+ delayed start of preschool.
Now things feel a little turned upside down, as we once again navigate
these questions, doubts and uncertainties. Recently, I came across an
exercise to do with your child from Big Life Journal called “Blow Away
Your Worries.” You draw some bubbles and have them write inside (or
write for them) all the things they’re worried about for the coming
school year. When doing with my own children (who will be starting
Kindergarten, 4th grade and Middle School!), I decided to modify the
activity to add also a half page of “wishes” bubbles with their
wishes/things they are looking forward to about their new school year.
We talk in our classes about how children often have two different
feelings at the same time, and acknowledging both sets can help. Think
about one of your last major life transitions—a new job, moving cities,
etc. You probably were not ALL excited or ALL nervous, but rather had
both sets of feelings to varying degrees. Depending on your child’s
personality, they may focus only on one set of those feelings. But the
reality is each child has both sets, and bringing both to consciousness
will be helpful for all kiddos.
After writing down all of their wishes and worries, you can “blow away”
their worries and send their wishes into the universe. It’s important to
help them acknowledge their worries and pin point them.i.e. “I’m worried
about making new friends” or “missing my teachers.” For younger
toddlers, you may have to prompt them, or just offer your best guess.
But even very young toddlers can be soothed by talking aloud about
things they can’t quite verbalize. Why not physically blow away the
worries and wishes with real bubbles? For older children, be sure to
emphasize that while the worries may not immediately disappear,
acknowledging them and saying them out loud helps us to begin to let go
of our worries. And acknowledging the things we’re excited about helps
us too! We can let our children know that we will save this paper and
come back to it in a few weeks. Maybe there will be new things they want
to add to their “wishes” list, or maybe some of their worries will have
truly disappeared by then! Continuing to have a space to come back to
and reflect together on the changes will be helpful. Because this
transition will not be a one day thing. I remember when my daughter
started kindergarten she was (seemingly) 100% excited and not at all
worried, until she walked into the classroom and had to say goodbye.
What we thought was going to be an easy transition for her, turned into
many weeks of struggling. I wished at that moment that I had explored
with her a little more her other set of feelings around the transition.
She told me later in the school year that the hardest thing was being in
a school without “one adult that I knew.” I hadn’t thought of it like
that before but establishing trust with new caregivers must feel really
hard in the beginning. Of course she went on to adore her kindergarten
teachers and have an amazing year, but sometimes we underestimate the
work our children are doing in the start of a school year. And that was
a normal school year. We don’t know a lot, but we do know this year is
not going to quite be “normal” year. With that in mind, I might suggest
that you also write a worries and wishes paper for yourselves. There is
quite a lot on our plates as parents right now. So much in fact that we
are offering a Covid Support Group, Lunch and Learns Parenting support,
and Virtual Parent Coaching! Check out these offerings below. And if you
still have a little one at home-don’t miss out on our Play-and-Learn
Explorers-a safe outdoor group for your child to stay connected to
nature and build friendships.
Worries and Wishes for Back to School